Let me tell you of This Moment
That rather snuck its way on me
Gathering tales so constant
It had no choice but to be;
Of one who watches joyfully
The winding of a clock
Another who smiles pleasantly
To open a forbidden lock
Yet another with too many toes
Who if stalked takes no prisoners
And then that one who never shows
Yet claims to own all visitors
I will learn them all
Know their number and their fall
Know those places that they keep
This Moment while you are asleep.
Now there are those, who wonder how
You find the time to brood
When many other cats about
Might also need their food.
With time to nuzzle that she’ll allow
And wonder if it’s rude
While making sure that she knows how
To make it understood
By staring at her `puter’s glow
And purring out her mood.
Oh Trouble, Trouble! You should know
We’d rather you be good.
yes a cat, we know of these
you may ask them “pretty please”
and even tho’ their fur you stroke
yet their attention not provoke
’til finally they come around
once their food is on the ground
then they’re yours for rest of day
’til they finally tire of play
and look profoundly with a chore
and wander busily off once more
The pestering being given into, I finally conceded that a pet would be a welcome addition to the home. Unfortunately, after various options were considered, four legged and feathered, we somehow decided on both. Now, let me tell you that hippogryphs are a bit too interesting to be considered proper pets. Ours had an endearing character and would caw-neigh loudly from the roof, fly down and gently accept scraps of meat mixed with hay from my hands, then fly off in a flurry of clattering hooves and wing beats. Everything seemed fine until one day, my next door neighbor came around with a suspicious look asking if I’d seen his Labradors and “What happened to my wife’s Gardenias?” I swore to him I knew nothing of this but I had my suspicions and our relationship became strained. He finally took matters into his own hands by acquiring his own hippogryph, a mare-hen to match our cock-stallion and as soon as she came into season the pair galloped then flew off to mate (we assumed) and were neither seen nor heard from again.
The issue of pet ownership still nagging, we decided to get a manticore instead. These beasts are somewhat more manageable, being mammals, albeit the disconcerting human head. Ours always greeted me cheerfully upon arriving home from a busy day; heart wrenching tears of joy watering his face down to a neatly trimmed beard while wagging a spiked tail against, and demolishing, our furniture. He also had a habit of using the garage door as a scratching post; just as well we kept nothing of value in the garage so it was a good joke on the burglars. I loved him though as he would often rest his head on my shoulder as I would sit on the arm chair; his eyes mimicking my own rolling past each line of verse from The Inferno or The Waste Land; either of which was what our home was in danger of becoming when we discovered a second mortgage was calculated on to pay for replacing furniture more frequently than our bath towels. So we enticed our manticore into the trailer one sad morning to bring him to the zoo. The keepers were only too happy to own a mythical creature since the pandas were no longer drawing the crowds like they used to. I left him there and we kissed each other on the lips and I saw those disconcerting tears, now of sorrow, for the last time.
In desperation, we finally decided on a more manageable pet so we bought a cat. Now our problems really started…
– sebastian 2007
Sit there tell us where ye’d been
Have all the Tom’s been mindin’?
We know thy sort, ye’re always seen
Top walls, ‘round corners hidin’
What’s it to you? Why do you mind?
I rub who I like, I purr as I please,
I catch a mouse, and deliver it to my kind
And yowl atop roofs, then take my ease
We don’t blame you much, ‘ndeed
For them’s adventures as we will
But Toms all now have thee in their nights
So sooner then thee we would kill
Oh! Your warnings have me so afeared!
I sneer at your dour countenances collective
Should I leave, it shall be for my need
Now leave me be alone, savouringly reflective
Thy’ve wit we warrant, which we find fine
So should thee be lost we’d shed a tear
No actions first then, but should tops of walls
Know your silent padding, we shall hear